Tuesday, September 29, 2015

NUFC FIFA 16 Career Mode, Pt. 2: Preseason Goals, Plans, and Expectations

The town of Newcastle upon Tyne, located in England, is abuzz over recent rumors of a new manager taking over at the local club, Newcastle United. Aids is his name. The town medical director was quite alarmed to hear that Aids was becoming more and more popular around the town. However, he too joined in the excitement when he learned of Aids' true managerial nature. 

(Excerpt from the local newspaper)

It's true, ladies and gentleman. As I said in my last post, I will be taking over as manager of Newcastle United. In order to give the local townspeople of the beautiful city of Newcastle upon Tyne something to expect this season, here are some of my goals, plans, and expectations for the FIFA 16 season ahead.


  1. Potential Signings: Newcastle have a $35,000,000 transfer budget (I think) for FIFA 16. With so much cash to splash, I'm gonna make some big name signings. 
    • Hakan Calhanoglu, CAM (Bayer Leverkusen)- This guy is something special. He finds his way into games, through his ridiculous free kicks or his deft touch and general cheekiness. He's the kind of young signing that could turn Newcastle United around. He won't be cheap though.
    • Maximilian Meyer, CDM (FC Schalke) - He's not the greatest currently, but he's got a stupidly high potential rating this year. (88!) With Tiote aging a bit and Anita being general shite, Jack Colback is gonna need a future star to step in and be a regular first team defensive midfielder. Maximilian Meyer will be a world class player and could also lead us to greatness.
    • Nicolas Nkolou, CM (Marseille) - I know next to nothing about this guy. He is young, fast, and above average though, which is more than our current center back, Mike Williamson, can say. Seriously though, screw Mike Williamson.
    • Cristiano Ronaldo, LW (Real Madrid) - Just kidding.
  2. Goals: I have set a very low bar for myself in my first season. I'm expecting to suck at first when I start playing this year's FIFA. Keeping that in mind, here are my goals for my first season:
    • League Finish: Best case scenario, and I mean absolute best case scenario, is if I can somehow go knuckle deep and pull a 5th place finish out of my ass. Realistically, I'll be shooting for 8th.
    • F.A. Cup: I would love to get some silverware in my first season and I think the F.A. Cup will be the best way to do this. And so, I'm hoping to get to the final. I know it's bold, but catch your tongue before calling me an idiot. Newcastle has a lot of talented young players who usually ride the bench. These kind of players mostly play in cup games, hence my high expectations.
    • Capitol One Cup: I do not care what so ever about this cup and I don't think anyone else does either. In all honesty, I'll probably just simulate these games.

That;s about it for right now. I'm hoping for an exciting season and I hope you stay with me along the way!

Adios from Aids

Monday, September 28, 2015

NUFC FIFA 16 Career Mode, Pt. 1: Introduction

I play FIFA quite a bit, more than I'm willing to admit. For such a terribly made game it somehow manages to be good year after year. The guys over at EA must be really good at polishing s***. Poop jokes aside, for now, this is one of my favorite times of the year. Everyone has had their optimism renewed for another installment in the FIFA franchise. People have yet to see through EA's bull and somehow still have a positive outlook on a very clearly broken game. Crazy, right? Makes you want to become a game developer. "Oh, you need the game 100% finished and bug free by launch? Nahhhhh, I'm busy. I do have last year's game with a couple of pointless changes that have no effect on game play. Really? I'm hired? Thanks, EA." Okay, despite my intense hatred for EA, I love playing FIFA. Maybe the only thing I love more than FIFA in the entire world, (sorry Mom and Dad, but I don't remember playing with you for 12 hours straight), is my beloved Newcastle United, a soccer team in the English Premier League. Newcastle United, AKA the Magpies, are consistently terrible every year. But before every season, they sign good players and assure their fans that everything will change. Kinda like EA with FIFA. Mix these two loves and what does that give you? A FIFA 16 Career Mode with Newcastle United. For those of you who are unfamiliar, Career Mode in FIFA is a game mode in which you take over as the manager of a club and are put in charge of everything at the club, from day-to-day management to million dollar transfers and trades. Every year since FIFA 13, I've done a career mode with Newcastle United where I take them from the bottom of the Premier League, where they continue to wallow in their own terrible performances, to the pinnacle of European football, the Champions League Final. I plan on documenting my journey through this blog. I'll be back pretty soon with some preseason plans and then with weekly updates of all my in-game shenanigans. Wish me luck!

Jack Colback, Papiss Cisse, and Ayoze Perez, Newcastle United players, celebrating a goal against Arsenal last season.



Adios from Aids

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Ice on the Wrist

Let's talk watches. I love watches. For me, a watch is what makes an outfit pop. A good watch is to an outfit like a good rug is to a room; a rug brings a room together, just like a watch brings an outfit together. Or, both are way more expensive than they should be and only get noticed when someone's looking. I'm not 100% kidding, either. One of the most important dynamics of watch-wearing is the price, and what it says to the people around you. If you are wearing a Rolex that costs more than most people's engagement ring, you're gonna look like a tool. If you're wearing a watch that looks like it was the toy from a happy meal, you're gonna look like Raymond from Rain Man,  and not in a "oh wow, this guy is probably way smarter than he seems" way but in a "this guy is almost definitely retarded" way. The goal should be to strike a balance between high society and, well, low society. So medium society, I guess. For me the epitome of a "middle society" watch is this Bochi watch.




This is the watch I wear everyday, so I may be a little biased, but I think that it says I care about the way I look without being a tool about it. This watch is ridiculously inexpensive but somehow doesn't sacrifice any quality. So, for prospective watch owners, consider what you want your watch to say when you're wearing it. And then buy this watch because it's tight. (It's only $8 on aliexpress.com!)

Adios from Aids

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

The What's What of My Blog

Hello World! My name is Aidan Gray, and I'm a high school student from Kansas City, Kansas. I plan on filling this blog up with whatever comes across my mind, almost like a message board except it's just me, I'm not writing messages to my friends or anything, just to myself, and this isn't necessarily real. No, actually, this is probably how an actual message board would be if I was involved. It would be less of "hey, whats up?" on the message board and more of "just took like a foot long poop. feeling great. will keep everyone posted." I guess you can expect a lot of poop-length related blogs in the future. Great sales pitch, Aidan.

Hopefully, I'll update the blog soon with my first real post. Until then, Adios from Aids!